You Big Bully

Many thinking Americans sat incredulously in front of their television screens in 2016 as students privileged to attend some of the nation’s finest institutions of higher learning sat in circles in the middle of campus crying because their chosen political candidate lost an election. Some of these same universities set up emergency counseling centers to help the students through the “trauma.”  This picture, played out all over the nation, makes it clear that mental intelligence is no predictor of emotional intelligence. One can be a brilliant thinker but completely dominated and controlled by the emotions. We do a disservice to our up and coming generations by letting them believe that they can reach their potential without growing up emotionally. Emotional intelligence is not being unemotional, but being in touch with your emotions and the emotions of others without making them the basis of your choices and actions.

The modern church, unfortunately, is a reflection of the rest of society as a whole instead of a challenge to it. Many believers have traded in the authority of the Word of God for belief and conduct to obey the voice of feeling making emotion the absolute authority in their lives. The mantra is often, “I know what the Bible says, but this is the way I feel. Don’t invalidate me by bringing up the Bible.” This manifests when believers emphasize the “neither do I condemn thee” in the story of the woman taken in adultery in John 8, but reject the part that says, “go and sin no more” and then label as judgmental and bigoted Christians who ascribe to both parts of this verse. This manifests when we do not conform to the lens someone has created for us as to what we should do or not do, or say or not say. When we fail to live up to their frame (as if they were made the Lord of our lives), they get put out, offended, and bitter. This manifests when someone redefines, for their purposes or agenda, disagreement as abuse, which both misrepresents the reality, vilifies the individual, and at the same time detracts from the seriousness of actual abuse. It’s the same dynamic as when one politician labels another as a Nazi or a racist simply because they disagree with a certain policy or position thus minimizing the horror of what it means to actually be one. This manifests when we go through trials, setbacks, and hard times and wrongly believe that God instead of the devil is behind the killing, stealing, and destroying in our lives. This manifests when we make poor choices or handle matters inappropriately and then resort to blaming others for our situation. A fundamental marker of emotional immaturity is the refusal or inability to take responsibility for ones thoughts, decisions, and actions.  This manifests when someone rejects Jesus’ pathway for relationship healing found in Matthew 18 (go show your brother or sister their fault just between you two) choosing to yield to unscriptural counseling that encourages venting and ultimately emotional group think. The former puts the fire out and brings healing. The latter adds fuel to the fire and consumes more and more hearts and minds proving that spiritual experience, like mental ability, does not necessarily mean emotional intelligence.

The truth about Christianity is that it impacts each and every dimension of the human being. When Jesus redeemed us he redeemed us body, soul, and spirit. The spirit is to be born again. The body is to be subjected. The mind is to be renewed. The will is to be submitted. The emotions are to be used to experience life rather than controlling it. Any dimension of the believer not submitted to the Word of God will become the dominant influence and voice. For too many believers, the dominant influence has become the emotions.  In other words, for the Christian, Jesus, not emotion is supposed to be Lord. Emotion tells the hurt to be bitter, but Jesus tells them to forgive. Emotion tells the disappointed to quit, but Jesus tells them they will reap if they do not faint. Emotion tells the angry to lash out, but Jesus tells them that vengeance is his and he will repay. Emotion tells the despondent and depressed to throw their lives away, but Jesus tells them to give their lives to him. Emotion tells the grieving they will never be able to live again, but Jesus reminds them that he is the source all life and that he still has a plan and purpose for their lives. Emotion tells the lonely they have to compromise God’s standards to have a relationship, but Jesus tells them to delight themselves in the Lord and he would give them the desires of their heart. Emotion tells the addicted or bound up that they will never get free, but Jesus tells them whom the son sets free is free indeed.

Elijah (1 Kings 19) experienced a time when he was very emotional and on the verge of cracking under all the pressure. He had expended great physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy taking on the prophets of Baal and then fleeing for his life from Ahab and Jezebel. This brought him to the brink of exhaustion and a break down. We can feel the same way as we experience a loss, setback, affliction, disappointment, illness, persecution, false accusation, failed relationship, dysfunctional family, abuse, rejection, abandonment, financial disaster, work problem, or an unrealized expectation. There’s a reason roof structures in Colorado Springs are designed differently than in Florida. The house in Colorado is designed to handle the accumulation of snow. Put that Florida house in the Rocky Mountains and it will never stand up under the wintery onslaught. Like the snow covered house, the key for the believer to hold up under such pressure is the development of inner spiritual strength, not the domination of a bully called emotion. Christian or not, if we do not understand how to step back and see these situations through the eyes of God’s Word we are likely to allow the bully of emotion to step in and send us down an even more destructive path.

Like Elijah, we all can arrive at destination destruction by sheer exhaustion, ungodly and unscriptural thinking, fear, isolation, and wrong words, but we can overcome the voice of the bully by applying key principles also revealed in this story. First, tune up the body because a fracture in one part of our lives can cause other parts to fracture. The more wore out we are, the bigger the bully’s mouth. This means not apologizing for good self-care, including diet, exercise, time for personal recharging and reflection, and recreation.  Second, tune up the hearing. We can’t get our perspective back unless we relearn how to hear God’s voice. One word from God can change our lives forever. Joshua 1 teaches us that the key to courage under duress is hearing from God’s Word and then continuing to say what he says about things. The volume of the bully goes down when our intake of God’s Word goes up. Any emotional baggage, including loss of courage and hope, can be remedied by large and consistent deposits of the Word of God. Third, tune up the vision. We must realize our job is not done just because we are in a bad place emotionally. Like Elijah, who still had many important things to accomplish for the Kingdom, we must discover again our divine purpose in life and then pursue it. The more we focus on our purpose, the less the bully of emotion will control us.

Developing Contentment

To be covetous is to be literally obsessed and driven to obtain what you do not have. When believers covet, they focus on what they do not have rather than being thankful for what God has done for them. This sin of the heart and of the mind drives an individual to want something at someone else’s expense. Proverbs 14:30 states, “Envy is a cancer in the bones.” You can tell you are slipping into covetousness when you begin to spend too much time thinking about things.

There are two negative effects of coveting. First, coveting drives people to obtain what is coveted in inappropriate, unwise, and at times illegal or immoral ways. Second, obsessing on what others have denies our faith in the Father to provide for us equally well. There is no need for a covenant child of God to ever covet because what he has done for others He will surely and gladly do for us.  All we need to do is ask instead of worrying, fretting, or coveting.

Andrew Carnegie was asked, “How much money is enough?” He replied, “Just a little bit more.” Contentment, in contrast to covetousness, is to be satisfied with what you have. It is not laziness or a lack of ambition, but being grateful for what you have at every stage of life rather than bemoaning what maybe missing or is yet to come. Who can forget the story about a thirteen-year-old surfer named Bethany Hamilton who lost her arm in a shark attack? She has maintained a positive outlook on life, choosing to see her possibilities rather than the limitations that are the result of the injuries. An old rabbinic teaching says, “Who is wealthy? The one who is content with his life.”

The ability to rest contented in God is priceless. Every believer can develop contentment in his or her life by overcoming three hindrances to contentment. The first hindrance to contentment is the competitive spirit. The Bible warns us about comparing ourselves with others (2 Corinthians 10:12). James 4:1-2 teaches that the root of strife, fights, and quarrels in the believer’s life is coveting. The key is to be the best you can and focus on yourself, rather than trying to beat the other guy.

The second hindrance is the materialistic spirit. “I saw a man who had no family, no son or brother. He always worked hard but was never satisfied with what he had” (Ecclesiastes 4:8, NCV). Hebrews 13:5 says, “Keep you lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ ” It is interesting that this often quoted Scripture is directly tied to the concept of contentment. We don’t have to worry about stuff because God will always be there to provide for us! Materialism is trying to fill a spiritual need with something physical or material such as property, relationships, money, or even power. Many people have acquired all this and yet remain discontented, anxious, and covetous.

The last hindrance to contentment is the empty spirit. Every human heart was designed for God to dwell there. The empty spirit is a heart that is not filled with God and his word. “If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment” (Job 36:11, NIV). There is no real prosperity or contentment without a relationship with the Father through faith in Jesus Christ. The Apostle John tied well-being and health to the condition of one’s own soul (3 John 2). Paul said he learned how to be content, at rest, and at peace in any situation—the impact of the strength that only comes from walking with the Lord (Philippians 4:12-13, NIV). When the human spirit is empty, people will covet, slash, burn, steal, and manipulate to acquire what they desire. They are driven by emptiness. Fill yourself with God and there will be no room left for covetousness.

Rest in God

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God…Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy (Exodus 20:8-9, 11, NIV).

Few concepts are as difficult to get a handle on as the Sabbath. How does the Sabbath apply to Christians today? What biblical principles for living can the believer draw from the fourth commandment?

To understand the relevance and applicability of the Sabbath for believers we must first understand what the Sabbath meant to the Hebrews. The Old Testament concept of Sabbath meant the complete stoppage of all labors to worship the Lord and reflect upon his goodness (to literally rest in God). The keeping of the Sabbath was a sign that a person was in covenant with God—to keep the Sabbath was to demonstrate your faith.

Technically, Sabbath is the cessation of activity, intermission, or rest. It is to take a break for a specific purpose and agenda—to draw close to God. The Sabbath requirement was God’s way of corralling his covenant (but not born-again) people into fellowship with him. In this sense, the Sabbath represents “sacred time,” or set aside time for God.

For believers today, the Sabbath commandment (a type of spirituality) finds its total fulfillment in the work of Jesus Christ. Paul said, “So do not let anyone make rules for you about eating and drinking or about a religious feast, a New Moon Festival, or a Sabbath day. These things were like a shadow of what was to come. But what is true and real has come and is found in Christ”(Colossians 2:16-17, NCV). Paul also explained that any future keeping of this type or shadow of Jesus is now strictly a matter of personal conscience and conviction: “In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. Each person should have a personal conviction about this matter” (Romans 14:5, NLT).

The Scriptures teach that the true Sabbath rest is a relationship and lifestyle rather than a certain day of the week. Jesus called out to the world to come find rest in him: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace” (Matthew 11:28-30, MES).The rest God promises is ultimately found in our personal relationship with Jesus Christ: “My soul finds rest in God alone” (Psalm 62:1, NIV).

Jesus repeatedly ran into opposition from the Pharisees over his ministry activities on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is not something that people were ever to serve. It was an opportunity for God’s people to enjoy complete restoration. Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to benefit people, and not people to benefit the Sabbath. And I, the Son of Man, am master even of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27-28, NLT).Therefore, it makes perfect sense that Jesus would teach on the Sabbath, encourage on the Sabbath, make provision on the Sabbath, and heal on the Sabbath. In other words, the Sabbath rest found in our personal relationship with the Lord is for the total restoration of man, not for the codification of more religious activity.

The true, genuine rest of God on earth (only a glimpse of what waits for us in heaven) is not accessed through a certain day of the week, but through faith. We enter the rest of God by faith. The writer of Hebrews declared that the message of the gospel is of no value to those that hear but fail to combine what they hear with faith (Hebrews 4:2). Our rest on earth (and in heaven in the future) is compromised when we fail to develop and maintain the spirit of faith: “So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief” (Hebrews 3:19, NIV).